I had a bit of an aha moment this week and I wanted to take some time to share as I am sure I am not the only one that either has been or is in this situation. I guess this is one of the things I love about personal development, always being on a constant journey of discovery and better yet I get to share and help others.
We all have ideas as to how things should be, some people want to get married, have 2 kids and buy a house with the white picket fence. Some believe that life should just be a certain way and there is no budging. It is great to have a picture of what you want and where you want to go, but where we can fall down is being too attached as to how we are going to achieve that. We feel that some choices are like taking a step back and we attach negative connotations to it. When in fact sometimes we need to take a step back in order to propel us forward in life, a bit like a bow and arrow.
Let me paint a little picture for you so you know where I am going. When my husband and I first got together nearly 11 years ago it was always spoken about that I would stay home with the kids and he would “provide”. I always wanted to be a mum if nothing else and I saw this, at the time, as my ideal situation. A lot of things have occurred over the last couple of years that hasn’t made this choice very easy. A recent opportunity came up which would completely flip the roles that my husband and I play. At first there was resistance, a lot of resistance, but taking time this week to think and reflect has been quite eye opening. Perception plays a big role in the choices we make and it is something you have the power to control.
“Sometimes In Life You Need To Let Go Of What Is In Order To Make Room For What Could Be”
Sometimes in life we need to learn to let go of what is or our current ideas in order to make room for what could be. This can be a little uncomfortable for a lot of us, but all good things happen just on the other side of that discomfort. Taking the time to reflect has now allowed me to see the benefits of taking up this opportunity and now open to it either way.
When have you let go of something and received something even better?
Did you know that approx 70% of people quit their job as a result of their boss? Now that is not entirely what happened to me, but I wanted to take a moment to share with you a little about my story and how I ended up on the path of working from home.
So my journey actually began just over 2 years ago, I had just returned to work after having my daughter. She went to childcare 3 days a week, while I worked my job. It all seemed good in theory, but theories are just that and not always what happens in real life. My daughter got sick all the time and for the first 7 months I was having every second week off work. I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. My daughter was always going to be top of my priority list, but I had a job that had sales targets and expectations that I was expected to achieve whether I was there or not. I starting thinking to myself “there had to be more to life, there had to be a better way”. This sent me searching on what I had thought would be another job, as I had 0 ambition to have my own business as I bought into everything people had told me about business, well traditional business.
While searching for another job, the universe had other ideas and led me to a webpage offering a business opportunity. I was extremely reluctant to say the least, but thought I would just find out. I received a phone call, listened to what the person had to say on the phone and was sent through some more information. As soon as I got off the phone I instantly searched the internet to see if it was a scam. I went through the information and there was just something about it that was pulling me in, I was looking for more in my life and this is what it was offering. During this process the saying, “the definition of insanity-doing the same thing and expecting a different result” kept popping up. I knew if I wanted different results I had to make different decisions, so I got started.
Has it been easy? No, but nothing that is easy is every rewarding in life. Although working from home can have it’s own set of challenges, it is certainly a whole lot less than my job did. Now I get to have the flexibility I want, I get to take my daughter to dance lessons and both kids do swimming lessons and if one of the kids is sick I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. I really do love working from home and I have gone from being an unhappy stressed out Mum to being happy and setting an example for my kids I can be proud of.
If you or someone you know has been considering working from home I would love to be able to help. Go to www.liveanddreamtoday.com for more information
Did you know that on average there is a plane taking off at Heathrow airport every 45 seconds? Why am I talking about planes, well it is the perfect example of building momentum. You aren’t going to turn on an airplane and expect it to instantly fly, you have to build up speed and then once you are up it gets much easier. That is kind of how business works, it is always tough at the start and you have to put much more work in, but then as you start building momentum it will get easier.
How do we build momentum? With consistency, this is the biggest key to building up that momentum. In the beginning it can seem a little overwhelming so I always start with small steps. Start with a couple of small things that you commit to each and every single day until it becomes a habit. They say it takes about 21 days to create a new habit, so once you have accomplished the first couple, then pick 2 or 3 more and commit to doing them each and every single day until they become habit.
What can derail your momentum? There are a number of things that can derail the consistency and therefore derail the momentum. Planning or lack of is one thing that can cause you to become unstuck. They say “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. Get into the habit of having a schedule and be disciplined to stick with it. Allocate certain amounts of time for each task and you will find yourself doing less paper shuffling. Learn to value your time; If you don’t value your time than others won’t either and you will probably find your time being taken up doing things for everyone else all the time. Don’t get disheartened; it can be easy to feel like a failure and like you are getting nowhere. You can change this by learning to count your wins everyday no matter how big or small. This will help you keep focused on the positive and not dragged under by the negative.
In summary, in order to help you create success you need to build momentum and this isn’t just for business, but can be applied to other areas of your life.
What is it going to take to get your plane off the runway?
How many times have you said you are going to change something or do something, but not follow through. You might do it for a little while, but then resort back to your old habits. If you fall into this category then I can totally relate. It is frustrating, tiring and does nothing for your confidence levels. You kind of feel like why bother and I have been there plenty of times myself. I am here to help you overcome this issue and finally achieve your goals. Let me run through the 7 steps that I use which is helping me achieve my goals.
MINDSET – I can not stress how important this is. If you don’t have this than it is not worth even starting because it will sabotage you quicker than you can say your name. How do we change it? Well personal development is a great tool and one that I use on a daily basis. Your first step before you start anything else is Mindset Mindset Mindset.
MEDITATION/VISUALISATION – Now I know this may seem a little hippy to some, but I have found that this is one thing that really has been the change lately and noticed the effect it has. You don’t have to meditate for hours, in fact I have a guided meditation that I do in the morning that goes for 11 minutes. During this time visualise what it is you are wanting to achieve and how it feels. When I have finished it makes me feel calm, balanced and ready to take on the world
COMMUNITY – You are always going to be more successful when you surround yourself with the right people. You want positive people who are moving in a similar direction that you want to head. If you are overweight and unhealthy then you need to go and hang out with healthy people. This may mean that you may have to limit the time or cut it out altogether with the people you currently hang around with. I know it can be hard to do this and we allow guilt to dictate our decisions. There is a saying “sometimes you have to let go of the old so you can make room for the new”. That is life and if you truly want to achieve your goal then you need to overcome your fear and guilt.
POSTURE – Act as if you are already living the life that you want and have a bit of fun with it. LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BORING!! So often we do things the wrong way around and you might catch yourself saying I will be confident when I am thin. This is the attitude of Have Do Be. What you need to do is change it around to a Be Do Have posture. So be confident, take the action towards your goal and then you will be thin. If you think it sounds simple it’s because it is, doesn’t mean it won’t require work. We as humans like to complicate things.
COUNT YOUR WINS – We spend so much time focusing on the negative, what we didn’t do, what we did do, what we haven’t achieved. That is not motivating for anyone, in fact it is making me feel unmotivated just writing it. Count your wins, focus on the positive, each night write down 10 things that you achieved, even if it is “I didn’t hit the snooze button on my alarm this morning”. That is a win and you should celebrate it. Also be sure to set yourself little milestones and reward yourself for reaching them.
GRATITUDE – This one is probably just as important as the first and one that probably isn’t practiced enough. Be grateful for things, anything, everything. By being grateful not only are you putting positive energy out into the universe, but it allows you to place a focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have.
SOLUTIONS NOT EXCUSES – Have you found yourself coming up with every excuse under the sun for not doing something and then bitching later because you didn’t do it, surely I can’t be the only one. When you hear yourself coming up with an excuse, turn it around and ask yourself, “what is the solution”. STOP BUYING YOUR EXCUSES!!!!
I really hope these steps help you when setting your next goal. I do apologise about the length, it was only supposed to be about 4 steps, but I guess I got a little carried away.
I would love to hear your thoughts and what your goals are.
Have you been guilty of saying “I will be happy when….” . Why do so many put of being happy or feel they need something external to be happy. Happiness comes from making a choice, to being grateful, to looking internally and to making the best of every situation. You do not have to wait for ANYTHING in order to be happy. Happiness is a choice and you can choose to be happy NOW.
Did you know that only about 8% of people follow through with their new years resolution and there are many reasons why. I have never been one to set a new years resolution, but I did take some time to sit down and work out what I wanted for the new year and picked just a couple of things to focus on. Now if you are great at achieving your goals then that is awesome. However, if you set new years resolutions each year and never follow through, then what I am about to share might help you change that. This doesn’t just apply to new years resolutions, but goals in general, because if you don’t follow through in the new year then fair chance is that you set a lot of goals that you never achieve. I want to help you change this pattern and to achieve more in your life.
So I like I mentioned I decided to just pick a couple of things to focus on and here are the reasons why.
If you pick 1 or 2 things to focus on then you are going to have more chance at achieving them. We can have a tendency to spread ourselves too thin and lose focus on what we were trying to achieve.
Picking a couple of things doesn’t mean that is all I want to achieve, but the 2 things I did pick I know by mastering them they will cause a flow on effect to other parts of my life. This will make it easier to achieve my other goals and some of them will even happen effortlessly.
One other thing we need to look at before setting these goals is our mindset and this probably makes up about 90% of the process along with WHY we are wanting to achieve them. So let me share with you my 2 goals and the process I went through.
My first goal that I chose was to partake in a 10 week paleo challenge. Now like many of you I have done all sorts of fitness regimes, said I am going to eat healthier and well, none of them ever lasted very long. I have slowly started introducing some small changes along the way, but not anything that has produced significant results. I know that by improving my overall health I am going to to have more energy and with 2 kids and a business I could use all the help I can get. However, this time is different….it feels different and I feel different about it. It is really important that you do things that resonate with you and for me this option does, it makes sense to me and something I can do long term. I feel that is a really important point to take onboard, if it resonates with you there is more of a willingness to follow through. The other thing that has changed and this is where the mindset comes, instead of focusing on what I am cutting out of my diet (essentailly what I am missing out on) I am focusing on the excitement and creative challenges I get to encounter. It is interesting how when you start looking into things that they turn out not to be so hard or scary after all. It is about finding the fun and excitement and focusing on that instead of what you think you are missing out on.
Learn to find the FUN in life
My second goal is to be more consistent and organised and although it is 2 things they go hand in hand. Now as I mentioned I have 2 kids and a business and it can be a challenge juggling the 2 things as well as all the other Mum duties eg. cleaning 😦 . I find the best way to do this is to put a couple of things in place:
Have a schedule and to-do list, and I know with kids it is not always going to work to plan, but it makes it a lot easier to remember everything you have to do instead of climbing into bed at the end of the day and thinking CRAP!! I forgot…..
Start small and implement 1 or 2 things that you do consistently everyday. For me I have just started doing meditating, but I only do it for 10 minutes. It is really super important to make sure you take time-out for yourself. ESPECIALLY if you have kids, and I know we all say “when am I supposed to find the time”. I promise you that if you find just that 10 minutes every single day it will make a difference in every area of your life.
Stop buying your own excuses. We really can be our own worst enemy and we allow our excuses to essentially enable our bad behaviour and then complain about it later. Whenever you hear yourself making some kind of excuse, stop yourself and think for 10 seconds. Ask yourself, is this a valid reason, is there a way I can actually do this, is this just a really bad excuse.
Language is so so important and something that we probably don’t pay enough attention to. Eliminate the phrases “have to” and “need to” and replace them with “choose to” or “want to”. This may seem like an insignificant thing, but take a moment to think……when you have used “have to” or “need to”, how often di you actually done those things. As people we don’t like to be told we “have to” do things and it could quite possible stem back from childhood when I parents told us we “have to” do something. If you change your wording even slightly you will notice a difference, maybe not straight away but you will.
I am sure this has given you plenty to think about and I truly hope this helps you achieve more of your goals in life.
What is one thing that you would like to achieve this year?