I had a bit of an aha moment this week and I wanted to take some time to share as I am sure I am not the only one that either has been or is in this situation. I guess this is one of the things I love about personal development, always being on a constant journey of discovery and better yet I get to share and help others.
We all have ideas as to how things should be, some people want to get married, have 2 kids and buy a house with the white picket fence. Some believe that life should just be a certain way and there is no budging. It is great to have a picture of what you want and where you want to go, but where we can fall down is being too attached as to how we are going to achieve that. We feel that some choices are like taking a step back and we attach negative connotations to it. When in fact sometimes we need to take a step back in order to propel us forward in life, a bit like a bow and arrow.
Let me paint a little picture for you so you know where I am going. When my husband and I first got together nearly 11 years ago it was always spoken about that I would stay home with the kids and he would “provide”. I always wanted to be a mum if nothing else and I saw this, at the time, as my ideal situation. A lot of things have occurred over the last couple of years that hasn’t made this choice very easy. A recent opportunity came up which would completely flip the roles that my husband and I play. At first there was resistance, a lot of resistance, but taking time this week to think and reflect has been quite eye opening. Perception plays a big role in the choices we make and it is something you have the power to control.
“Sometimes In Life You Need To Let Go Of What Is In Order To Make Room For What Could Be”
Sometimes in life we need to learn to let go of what is or our current ideas in order to make room for what could be. This can be a little uncomfortable for a lot of us, but all good things happen just on the other side of that discomfort. Taking the time to reflect has now allowed me to see the benefits of taking up this opportunity and now open to it either way.
When have you let go of something and received something even better?
How many times have you said you are going to change something or do something, but not follow through. You might do it for a little while, but then resort back to your old habits. If you fall into this category then I can totally relate. It is frustrating, tiring and does nothing for your confidence levels. You kind of feel like why bother and I have been there plenty of times myself. I am here to help you overcome this issue and finally achieve your goals. Let me run through the 7 steps that I use which is helping me achieve my goals.
MINDSET – I can not stress how important this is. If you don’t have this than it is not worth even starting because it will sabotage you quicker than you can say your name. How do we change it? Well personal development is a great tool and one that I use on a daily basis. Your first step before you start anything else is Mindset Mindset Mindset.
MEDITATION/VISUALISATION – Now I know this may seem a little hippy to some, but I have found that this is one thing that really has been the change lately and noticed the effect it has. You don’t have to meditate for hours, in fact I have a guided meditation that I do in the morning that goes for 11 minutes. During this time visualise what it is you are wanting to achieve and how it feels. When I have finished it makes me feel calm, balanced and ready to take on the world
COMMUNITY – You are always going to be more successful when you surround yourself with the right people. You want positive people who are moving in a similar direction that you want to head. If you are overweight and unhealthy then you need to go and hang out with healthy people. This may mean that you may have to limit the time or cut it out altogether with the people you currently hang around with. I know it can be hard to do this and we allow guilt to dictate our decisions. There is a saying “sometimes you have to let go of the old so you can make room for the new”. That is life and if you truly want to achieve your goal then you need to overcome your fear and guilt.
POSTURE – Act as if you are already living the life that you want and have a bit of fun with it. LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BORING!! So often we do things the wrong way around and you might catch yourself saying I will be confident when I am thin. This is the attitude of Have Do Be. What you need to do is change it around to a Be Do Have posture. So be confident, take the action towards your goal and then you will be thin. If you think it sounds simple it’s because it is, doesn’t mean it won’t require work. We as humans like to complicate things.
COUNT YOUR WINS – We spend so much time focusing on the negative, what we didn’t do, what we did do, what we haven’t achieved. That is not motivating for anyone, in fact it is making me feel unmotivated just writing it. Count your wins, focus on the positive, each night write down 10 things that you achieved, even if it is “I didn’t hit the snooze button on my alarm this morning”. That is a win and you should celebrate it. Also be sure to set yourself little milestones and reward yourself for reaching them.
GRATITUDE – This one is probably just as important as the first and one that probably isn’t practiced enough. Be grateful for things, anything, everything. By being grateful not only are you putting positive energy out into the universe, but it allows you to place a focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have.
SOLUTIONS NOT EXCUSES – Have you found yourself coming up with every excuse under the sun for not doing something and then bitching later because you didn’t do it, surely I can’t be the only one. When you hear yourself coming up with an excuse, turn it around and ask yourself, “what is the solution”. STOP BUYING YOUR EXCUSES!!!!
I really hope these steps help you when setting your next goal. I do apologise about the length, it was only supposed to be about 4 steps, but I guess I got a little carried away.
I would love to hear your thoughts and what your goals are.
So often people just don’t believe they need to be of service or it has to be some grand gesture to count, but I have learnt that this just ins’t the case. Being of service can be something small and can occur at any time. By doing so not only are you helping someone out in need but it simply makes you feel good. We are all searching for more happiness in our life and this is a great place to start. Let me share a story that happened to me only last week, it wasn’t planned, it wasn’t big, but it did have the desired effect.
“Be the change you want to see in the World”. Ghandi
Travelling to Victor Harbor to see family when my husband and I passed a car that was pulled over. There was a much older couple looking as though there was something wrong with their car. As we passed them I saw that they had a flat tyre. Now I don’t know about you, but I have changed a few in my time and they are not fun let a lone trying to do it when your body doesn’t have the capabilities it used to . I said to my husband that we should really turn around and help them out. My husband replied with “if we have to”, knowing he would be the one who would be changing the tyre. With a smile on my face I turned the car around and arrived to find 2 lovely and extremely grateful people. Within less than 15 minutes the job was done. The couple were happy because someone nice stopped to help them, and we felt great for doing our good deed for the day.
What was the last thing you did to help someone in need?